


(Don't) Look At Me

by StarlightXNightmare



Series: I Feel Terrible™ [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: I Want Attention Because I Feel Empty Without It™, Rant, brain vomit, mentions of social anxiety, personal, poem, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 01:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15474357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightXNightmare/pseuds/StarlightXNightmare
Summary: They wanted attention but they couldn't handle having eyes on them.





	(Don't) Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> A bit different than my normal uploads.

"Look at me!"  
  
They breathed into the void  
To the others standing far from them  
Talking about things they, too, liked  
 ~~Wanted to be a part of it~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They cried as eyes turned to them  
Eyes of those they admired  
Social skills failing them  
 ~~What was considered polite, again?~~  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
They exclaimed excitedly  
Waving their newest creation in hand  
Mind buzzing with pride  
 ~~I'm so proud of myself for once!~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They muttered in fear, worried  
About not living up to expectations  
About being _boring_  
 ~~They'd _hate_  them~~  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
They called out in exasperation  
Tired about being left out of such  
A wonderful community  
 ~~Too scared to interact in big ways~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They mumbled in dejection  
Feeling guilty about the  
Compliments they received  
 ~~They didn't deserve them~~  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
They growled at the three  
At their friends who ignored them  
"I'm here too!"  
 ~~Is it that easy to forget about me?~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They yelled  
Anger bubbling underneath  
Their skin  
 ~~Going to do something they'd regret~~  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
They said brightly  
Offering their praise and adoration  
To those they looked up to  
 ~~Want you to feel as special as you are to me!~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They pleaded  
Knowing what they had said  
Had been heard before  
 ~~Who wanted to be told the same things over and over?~~  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
They screamed  
Brain sewing hateful  
 ~~Lies~~ ~~Truths~~ _Words_  
 ~~Simply words—not lies or truths so they told themselves~~  
  
"Don't look at me!"  
  
They sobbed in humiliation  
Knowing they had nothing to be  
Crying or upset over  
 ~~Too sensitive; get over it~~  
  
"Somebody please  
(Don't) look  
at me..."  
  
They whispered, voice  
Breaking along with  
their heart  
  
Watching as everyone  
continued on as if they  
weren't even there  
  
Like they  _thought_ they would  
Like they  _assumed_ they would  
Like they  _knew_ they would

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this poem after being fed up of being ignored by everyone and feeling as if I didn't deserve other people's attention. I'm a pretty low maintenance person and the easiest child to take care of (entertainment and social wise) in my own family—god forbid if I need someone to talk to me every now and then.
> 
> My new goal is to put myself out in the world (even if it's just the digital world) no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. I want to be a part of this community then I have to mean it. Baby steps are important to adjusting and I often forget this. Normally I throw myself into the fray with no regards of how I adjust. I'm going to set goals for myself when I feel like I need to interact with others more.
> 
> I can do this.
> 
> I will do this.


End file.
